You might be a webcock....

If, when you bring out the big gun to promote your social media expertise, it’s an email chain...

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:02:00 -0600

If, when you bring out the big gun to promote your social media expertise, it’s an email chain letter.

if you retweeted a link to a post on an SEO blog entitled “how to increase your twitter...

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:11:54 -0700

if you retweeted a link to a post on an SEO blog entitled “how to increase your twitter followers.”

if you wrote a 2,400-word blog entry beginning with the words “through brevity there’s...

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 12:23:07 -0700

if you wrote a 2,400-word blog entry beginning with the words “through brevity there’s clarity.”

if suddenly now, “social media is poison” cause it was so oversold by consultants like...

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:27:17 -0700

if suddenly now, “social media is poison” cause it was so oversold by consultants like you.

if you mock any structures put in place to “manage” social media efforts because...

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 19:17:00 -0600

if you mock any structures put in place to “manage” social media efforts because they’re clearly not as good as the ones you would create.

if on a social media panel, you talk the whole time, bring the convo back to yourself, drop names,...

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:06:52 -0600

if on a social media panel, you talk the whole time, bring the convo back to yourself, drop names, and interrupt everyone with your brilliant insight.

if you opine freely about tools and platforms you’ve never actually used.

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:59:00 -0600

if you opine freely about tools and platforms you’ve never actually used.

if you’ve got a remarkably natural talent to turn all conversations back towards yourself;...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:49:18 -0600

if you’ve got a remarkably natural talent to turn all conversations back towards yourself; especially when describing new social media technologies.

if you use euphemisms like “rich design” to denote unrestrained use of the “drop...

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:22:35 -0600

if you use euphemisms like “rich design” to denote unrestrained use of the “drop shadow,” “gradient overlay,” and “bevel and emboss” styles in Photoshop.

if sentiments like “I’m a HUGE fan of X—I think maker-of-X could really be onto...

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:26:43 -0600

if sentiments like “I’m a HUGE fan of X—I think maker-of-X could really be onto something” appear in your blog posts (where X is a product or service developed by a large, innovative and profitable company).

if you chide people for incorrect usage of made up social media words.

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:10:57 -0600

if you chide people for incorrect usage of made up social media words.

if you think knowledge is a zero sum game.

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:50:01 -0600

if you think knowledge is a zero sum game.

if you’ve always got a better app than your peers or already onto the next, best thing, then...

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:21:00 -0600

if you’ve always got a better app than your peers or already onto the next, best thing, then the old thing all the noobs are using.

if you use twitter; in fact, you are.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:05:59 -0600

if you use twitter; in fact, you are.

if, now that we’ve given you a tool to “update the goddamn homepage,” you decide...

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:05:00 -0600

if, now that we’ve given you a tool to “update the goddamn homepage,” you decide to delegate the responsibility to an intern.

if your frustration extends as far as demanding—in a tone of exasperation—“why...

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:04:00 -0600

if your frustration extends as far as demanding—in a tone of exasperation—“why can’t I just update the goddamn homepage?”—but not so far as to actually learn the requisite skills.

if all your apps end in “r.”

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 08:50:27 -0600

if all your apps end in “r.”

if you’ve written a post instructing the world on how to properly pitch you.

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 14:46:57 -0600

if you’ve written a post instructing the world on how to properly pitch you.

if your advice to noobs is offered with a magnanimous tone of authority and always in a public forum...

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:51:45 -0600

if your advice to noobs is offered with a magnanimous tone of authority and always in a public forum so others may benefit, too.

if you’ve made up words to describe marketing.

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:04:57 -0600

if you’ve made up words to describe marketing.